He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize