Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Boobs are out for the taking
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