i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Your penis caused this!
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