How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
