Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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