I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
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