Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
