I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
