is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
