Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
