I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
