Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize