people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
