Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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