So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
