Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
