She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Randomize
