your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
