Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
