i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
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