What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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