you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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