They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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