I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I am one with the molecules
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize