Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
