he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
