yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
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