How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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