I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
