haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
