That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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