Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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