Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
