I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Princesses don't give blow jobs
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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