before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i think i have herpe
just one?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
