My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
