I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
