i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Randomize
