first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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