We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
