If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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