stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
