Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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