sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
