he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
