I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
