he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize