I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
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