So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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