My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
