Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
