So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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