Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
