So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
