you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
