Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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