Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Randomize
