What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
