Nicole vs. Life
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
