youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
