I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
