We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize