Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
