the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
