there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
