Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
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