I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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