i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
