I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
