my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
