we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
