I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
