i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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