bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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