I will die if light touches me.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
