I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
