It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
