Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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