i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
