i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
